Dedication!!!!

Wow ladies...Its been a good minute once again....but I am back and have a story to share with you....February has been a trying month for some of our derby sisters.....This past Feb. one of our derby sisters lost an 18 month old nephew....Sadly he was beat to death by his mother and the BF.....This is a perfect example of how something so negative can stem something so beautiful in the end.....His name was Conrad......So we had a skate off to raise money for the prevention of child abuse.....Skaters from all over the area got together and skated our butts off.....and it was something amazing......Yes there was many tears shed for this little boy.....Yes it was real tough when it hit so close to home for many of us....as we know its not what you do.....its how you do it.....and ladies I'm about to blow this all up out of the water.....in thoughts,,,,,with many prayers,,,,not to forget the tears.....for this little soldier Conrad.....
My first step is changing the child abuse laws in North Dakota.....I am going to be meeting up with the prevention of child abuse board this week.....I am focusing on emotional abuse,,,,which isn't even considered a form of child abuse....and the sexual abuse.....its only considered abuse if the child was penetrated....These innocent children don't have a voice....I figured I have a big mouth time to start using it towards something positive.....Granted I am starting in North Dakota first......My goal is to go NATION WIDE ladies....

So with all this being said......I never thought I could be more dedicated to something other than derby....but i have been proved wrong.....I am not going to stop until these children have a voice....until they are protected by the law.....you wouldn't believe how many children are killed by there own parents.....This has to stop.....They didn't ask to be born.....They only asked to be loved.....Who cares where this love is stemming from....So to all the broken children of the world.....I am now an adult.....broken at one time....working every day to fix my life.....I will not stop until they listen....Until the laws have been changed in order to protect.... not to just give up and walk away......North Dakota is just a start.....NATION WIDE here i come......to those who beat there children y'all better watch out.....these kids not only have a voice but now they have KARMA on there side......Karma doesn't forget......You will get yours......Until then....I have a voice.....

My little soldier Conrad.....I feel you everyday.....I know you are up there playing with angels....and wiping your families tears away.......I know that you see what you mean to people like me.....and i also know that you know your death has givin many of us our Life back.....I feel like i can breath.....I know that one day you will be one of the many waiting for me.....Until then....I am going to fight till the end.....I will protect the ones that need.....and continue to fight until my knuckles bleed......Little Conrad....You will always be a fellow soldier to me.....and the love your memory has created is something so priceless to me....

You are now safe.....and feel the power of true love and what it can do......All this is in memory of you!!!!!!

Much Derby Love

Karma aka Karmic Recall 911

The New, The Bold, The Beautiful!!!!

First off I want to thank RollerDerbyVixens for giving us the opportunity to blog our thoughts!!!! I am feeling inspired.....A lil wired if you may from the excitement to be able to introduce the new teams coming your way.....Roller derby is more than a fad....Its a sport.....The females involved are more than a pretty face.....They are athletes.....

I reside in Fargo North Dakota.....Insert brrrr now.....Not to my surprise the roller derby leagues are popping up left and right.....These girls are not messing around.....These leagues maybe brand new,,,,,but they are by far making there mark.....practicing hard and playing even harder.......keep up the good work ladies....

We have the Bisman Bombshells from Minot North Dakota.....They are supported by there AFB......I have little information I apologize but they are an upcoming league to watch for in the future.....



I am also proud to introduce to the derby family the Fergus Falls Roller Girls....They don't have a patch yet so I picked out a picture....These ladies are full of character and is ready to prove there worth to this sport.....
Here comes Grand Forks Sugar Beaters on the back stretch......These girls are having an upcoming bout real soon at the Alerus Center..A Bout To Remember....Feb 19th starts at 6:30 pm.....Good luck Sugar Beaters.....Much Derby Love Ladies!!!!!

Last but certainly not the least.....Bemidji Babe City Rollers est. in 2009....These girls are some tough girls.....working through there growing pains and becoming a team to watch out for.....They are already wftd apprentice league.....They are fierce and coming up quick....Great job ladies....babecityrollers@gmail.com....These ladies will be playing against FMDG (Fargo Moorhead Derby Girls) on Feb 19th at the Civic Center....Last bout against Fargo they won by 2 so this will def be a bout to check out!!!!


I am proud to welcome these upcoming leagues with open arms.....I love compitition so bring it on ladies.....Bring it on!!!!!!

Sending Much Derby Love,,,
Karma

Just going to stand there and let me burn!!!!!!!!!

Just going to stand there and let me burn.....Every team, Every time, I always have a scar to remind me......The very energy that started that very fire....is the very energy I will use to ignite.....to gain strength to ignite.....to keep rolling on,,,,,being a true soldier!!!!! I will always go to the extreme that's just me......love it or leave me......i am in search of pure loyalty......loyalty to themselves not just a league......individuals who stand bi there words and there dignity not ones who use all there strength and energy to copy or rob me of my ideas.......I don't stand bi the truth because i like the way it hurts!!!!!!! your either one of two people.......One who stands there and hear me cry........or those who are going to ask hey Karma what is it that made you cry........so i ask now don't act like you care..... i don't need pity......I don't need those types of people in my life!!!!!

Roller Derby has given me a lot.....but it also takes a lot......but know when something or someone takes from me......its because i have already given up!!!!! so how can you take something that has already been given to you?????? kinda reminds me of Columbus day........how the hell can you discover something that has already been discovered my friends......just a thought!!!!!!

So many thoughts go through my head........I only try to be better......a better player........a better person........so I have come to a few conclusions.....From this day forward.......I refuse to be swallowed bi the politics of.....i will rise above the rumors that you once used to destroy me......I will not allow the negative ......any negative energy delegate my love...and jealousy is not welcome.......you need to work hard and dedicate yourself so instead of being jealous of someone be the one they are jealous of!!!!!

I am not in it for the tittle "roller girl" I am more than just a tittle you see....I am a true ROLLER GIRL and you cant take that away from me......open your eyes and you will one day realize KARMIC RECALL 911 embraces the end........ for every end there is a new beginning.....I will not hold on to the negativity......no not I........Nor will I hold anything against anyone......That's not my style!!!!!

I'm not afraid......when its dark I will be the light at the end of the never ending tunnel of life.........of love .....of today........of -tomorrow- that is not promised to you or me...so take responsibility of your own actions.......don't worry about mine......i will pay my dues in full and continue to grow.......all the while you wish you still had KARMA on your side.......I stand alone......everyday......I will pray for all of you who has done me wrong.......for all of you who can not see what your lies that she hides behind and the true chaos it caused.......I may be this and you may be that.......but at least i know who the F#cK i AM!!!!!

I'd rather be "trapped" bi TRUTH.......Then "free'ed" bi IGNORANCE!!!!!

MUCH DERBY LOVE Y'ALL
KARMA AKA KARMIC RECALL 911

Fat Bottomed girls make the rockin world go round...

I use to be a REALLY fat chick.

Now i'm just chubby,chunky, fluffy..whatever the word you wanna use. I have the tell tale signs on me from formerly being huge, and losing it..nothing a few grand and a lil table time with a plastic surgeon couldn't fix..but eh, it's me, you either like me, for me, or you don't, the looks is just the packaging.

I was ok being a fat chick. I got winded alot.. and tired, and lazy...

But eventually something clicks. Something about social power, and semiotics, and lifestyle fantasy. Derby being my fantasy..my new lifestyle..and the social power it brings..

WAIT!!! But what's semiotics you ask? They break down into 3 branches:

* Semantics: Relation between signs and the things to which they refer;
* Syntactics: Relations among signs in formal structures
* Pragmatics: Relation between signs and their effects on those who use them


The feminist movement used to talk about "click" moments. Moments in which you sense something falling into place. (Being a gigantic wilder-beast on skates and how proud I was to say it was me and my fat ass who knocked that bitch down and then saying that I was BORN to play this sport because I was fat, and how everyone applauded my exploits, instead of perhaps saying I discovered that if I just propel myself forward and keep the screaming that I am going to die in my head,and the look of sheer terror off my face, nobody will ever know that excellent take down was purely by accident and I was really trying to save my dental work:CLICK!)

Something about the shifting boundary between fat and unfat. Who is which? Fat is a social identity. It is interesting that I call myself The Fat Girl now, because I am only The Fat Girl to myself.To others I am the giant amazon chick. When I first started at the company i'm at now, we had a different Fat Girl. But she wore ugly lifeless boxy unflattering clothes and looked like she was waiting to have the shit kicked out of her. (I also did the former, but not the latter: I looked like I would cut you and leave you to bleed out before your children if you kicked me). She was weird.She had no social skills, she smelled funny. She was The Fat Girl, not me, and people made fun of her. I made fun of her too at the time, before I learned how badly words can hurt, though not for being fat.

Sometimes now (often?) I don't even feel like a Fat Person, in the way that means "abnormal, subhuman." But more than ever, I socially identify as a Fat Person.

I will always be, in my head.. a Fat Girl.

A Fat Derby Girl.

Which brings me to my point...

I let myself get out of shape. My husband told me about 6 months ago, before GCRG fell apart, he saw things I refused to see.. and he told me "you either ref, and run the team. or you skate, and give the team to them" (them being the *cough* coup leaders) He told me I can't do both. So I kept my team. I let myself get slow and lazy, didnt keep up with my supplements and my conditioning.Then add in a fantastic knee injury.. I struggle now.

But I don't struggle as bad as when I was huge..

But, I will get there.

But this isn't about me. Although I have done a fine job of making it so...

You know those fat bottomed girls you have on your team? You know who I am talking about. The ones who struggle through 25 in 5's, through their 10/4's. Who suck at endurance in the heat. Who need extra help with everything...

They want to be there, they want to contribute, they want to better themselves. Instead of telling them "why don't you just be a ref.." say something like "I see your trying, and let's see if I can help you..." Or even "Why don't you ref, or become a stat packer,WHILE your working on being a bitchin ass blocker, cause we need you out their girl." (derby girls who have been refs first, have a fantastic understanding of the game btw)... why not words of encouragement. Why not take the time to make them feel like they are vital to the team. Take a few minutes and visit with them..drop them a line. Let them know they aren't some hindrance to the team, holding everybody back.

Because while we know they really are not.. because we are all mostly concerned with getting our own shit done..a lifetime of weight issues and self image issues, puts a crap shitload of stuff in a girls head..

Don't add to it..

Besides.. todays fat bottomed girls struggling through practice, may be next seasons bad ass back blockers... clearing the way for you like Moses through the Red Sea..

And you slighted them...

Goes back to that subhuman feeling...

Everybody has a place.. Even the Fat Bottomed Girls.

Sometimes..you just know...

I went through over a year of shit on my first team...

I went through a year of stupidity on my second team.

But sometimes, you just know, almost instantly.. where you really belong..

This is my blog.. and it's my opinions, and I am entitled to them..

Team 2 was just..I dunno, I thought it was fantastic because it wasn't the hell hole team 1 was, but in retrospect, it was a different kind of bullshit. There is no sanitized derby, no pretty girl sweet way of doing derby. Derby is derby..plain and simple. I'm not saying that women of breeding dont belong in derby, but that breeding doesn't give you the right to be an asshole to people who don't look like you, or act like you..because sweet cheeks.. derby is filled with people who dont look like you, have the same socio economic background as you.., or education level as you. If you judged everybody with those perimeters.. you'd be kinda fucked..

So what, someones child looks off, or their tooth is rotten, or somebody else is chubby or lazy, or what you deem trashy..I have found, that people who tend to pick on other people, especially with the guise of being better than they are, usually have some serious deep seeded issues themselves..

So we took the team name, and made it a league name, and merged it with another areas team.. for various reasons,and made a big superpower of derby girls.Originally we had the ones who didn't go with the others going to travel and join us..but they either pussed out because the drive was too far, or they all seriously have some major drama, and I don't need that toxicity on this nice, unspoiled, unjaded derby.

I went into this, closed off again. Jaded. But right off the bat, my contact was a girl who got me, and I her. I didn't need to explain myself, and all my bullshit baggage with being closed off to people because being closed off means you dont leave yourself open to get fucked over, and she didn't need to explain hers..I remember our first convo.. when I got off the phone, I cried..I cried to my husband, because every time derby drama happens, I cry and think maybe I am crazy..because I try to do the right thing and do right by people, but I keep getting fucked over.

But after that convo, I realized.. I am not crazy.. and that girl got me. We have an understanding..

So I went to practice with a renewed sense of hope in derby, instead of leaving it altogether.

They say the 3rd time is a charm..I think that is a true statement in every sense of the words.

Girls with ink, and piercings, and love fishnet and weird shit as much as I do..we go to practice, and we are not too good to go to the pub afterwards..we don't think we are better than anybody else, or each other.. and we don't do that "ohhh I don't want to be seen with you" bullshit..

And it's weird not having to sensor everything I say..because it might offend a plastic and her sensibilities. Or the lil Meatball with legs merch girl who has to be told what she thinks... I say what I want, do what I want.. and I love these girls..because they do the same, and they make no apologies. They are secure in who they are, and it's not about keeping up appearances..

I have no illusions we wont have derby drama.. we will. But for some reason, I don't ever see the issues we fight about, being about how we looked to so and so, and don't say this, and don't post that because I don't want so and so to see it and think badly of me because I am a business owner with a degree in cow psychology.

Who cares..really.

If I had it to do all over again, and go back to Orange...I would never ever even give it a second thought. Orange doesn't exist to me anymore..while I accept the apology texts I have been getting..it's just a closed chapter in my life.



Many thanks to H.A.R.D from Corpus Christi, and Original GCRG's for helping to spread Derby Domination to Lake Charles...

"Last night I dreamed of Edward Cullen..."

No shit..except he was a jammer ref and he was packin down the Jager shots and belting out tunes in a rousing round of karaoke with one of my homegirls from Corpus.

I am seriously not even fucking joking!

I really need to look into watching something non derby related before bed..I wasn't even thinking about Twilight!! Or Derby!! Where the hell did that shit come from?

I'm more a Wolf Pack chick anyway..

Before derby came in my life, and everything got a hole... or ink, I was a shitkicker. Yeah a wrangler-ariat fat baby-stetson-kippy belt wearin blinged out shitkicker.

I will just let you settle on that visual for a spell.

ANYHOO

Country music is riddled with songs that kick your ass. I still listen to Brooks N Dunn, Dierks Bentley, Gary Allan, and alot of old school country. One song in particular is my derby Ipod song Du Jour, cause the reality is..I may not look like a shitkicker, but I still drive a big ass truck, still say ya'll, still mess with showstock and frequent feed stores. I still have a barn and get horse shit on my boots. You can change the look, but you can't change the heart..

My song....Cowgirls Don't Cry..
Brooks N Dunn

Go look it up on youtube.

Yeah. I know. It's all poignant and related to derby in a non derby way..lol

I used to hate people and now I fucking love them. Ok, that may be an overstatement. I'm fascinated by how their minds work, and more often than not, how their minds cease working entirely. I enjoy watching quietly when someone else is at their best or at their absolute fucking worst. Otherwise I'm fucking loud. I'm fucking Obnoxious. I'm in love with using the word "fucking"

Everytime you use the F word in any variation, a metrosexual fictional vampire sparkles.

The Gulf Coast Rollergirls websites back up ..
www.gulfcoastrollergirls.com

Here's my most fav pic of my new teammates EVAR..taken by my husband

Hi..i'm clumsy...

So yeah..my mom always says I could trip over a blade of grass. A shadow of a blade of grass actually.

Really, I tripped over the cat, with no knee pads. So I am hobbling around with a knee brace. To add insult to injury, when I was cleaning out the warehouse, I walked over this grinder thing..cleared it..no problem. I tripped over it's cord.

So I hobble.

I have been working really hard on my skating, super hard..I think harder than I ever have in 2.5 years..and I always seem to go down on the same knee. So every time I do a fall, despite the thickness of the memory foam on my 187 knee pads. I still feel it on that knee. By the end of the night..my knee is half a volleyball sized..and I can barely walk the next day..

WTF AM I THINKING!!!!

Hell if I know..

Here's my next great injury...and you will love this one.LOVE IT!!!

Yanno when your laying on your back, and you have your skates in the air and you rotate your ankles to loosen them up. Well I felt my left ankle lock up, and I didn't try to push it through, I went back the other way. I continued on for the rest of the night, it was a bit tender. I got home, took some ibuprofen and went to bed. By the next morning it was this huge swollen throbbing mess and I was unable to walk on it.

Yep.. I sprained my ankle..while not even on it.

I got crutches and everything. Ankle wrapped, knee brace, crutches. I am the epitome of sexiness..let me tell you.

It's worth it though. I am making great progress for once, because I dont have to do other crap before I can tend to my own skating. I met some great chicks, and I got my friends that came with me.

Something I wanted to mention..

Derby Drama, we all have it, we all see it. It may be ours, theirs, or people we don't even knows. I see it all the time on the group lists, I see it on other teams facebooks and myspaces..but I am gonna say this..

I saw something today that really bothered me.

Trash talking is going to happen. When people get mad, they say things they regret. Most times, I know in my case anyway, I want to take back things I say when I am mad..but whats done is done. Name calling happens, harsh words are spoken..lots of "fuck you" and "bitch" and "go fuck yourself" Respect is often lost, and won in these fights..

But I want every single one of us to take this message to heart..this is just derby. Rollerskates. Skating Fast, Turning Left..Looking cool. It doesn't define who we are as people, and what kind of person we are in the rest of our life out of our skates.

So what did I read that bothered me? "I say you need fucking therapy... you sick in the fucking head! Go blow your head off and reincarnate yourself as a REAL HUMAN BEING"

I am shocked I even read that. Never in any derby tiff have I been in, have I ever felt the need to tell somebody to go commit suicide. Nor have I ever heard anybody I greatly respect say something like that either.

This is derby. To suggest someone kill themselves over derby,not only reeks of the author being sick in the head as well, but needing therapy themselves for suggesting such a thing.Derby is not worth your life, or suggesting someone end their life over it. It bothered me more that someone was capable of saying it, than I was worried about the person it was directed to. Any rational person saw it for what it was, and dismissed it. I saw it for what it was..I also saw the person who said it for what they were..it really made me sad for them. What possesses people to say such garbage?

I cannot possibly think of one incident in derby that would ever warrant telling another human being to go blow their own head off. Nothing of such momentous magnitude that warrants such actions.


Now I realize I am probably talking out my ass, and I have a select number of readers here, and most likely this wont ever reach the people who need this message the most..

But words wound people..and please, choose your words carefully.. and when choosing them..try to contain them to the context of the subject matter at hand. Don't cross the line. And that statement..crosses all moral and ethical lines..

People make me so sad sometimes.

As for me..I have become one of "those people". I am wearing my Team Jacob shirt, my wolfpack bracelet, and sparkly eyeshadow. Yes.. I am going to see Eclipse.. mucho mucho grande excited..

BTW People..

The GCRG's fierce Hurricane Belle's and their lovely Lafitte's Ladies are not only proud to present, but also participate in The Battle For Independence, with our sister leagues, the Cen-Tex Sirens from Temple Texas, and The Brass Knuckle Brawlers from H.A.R.D of Corpus Christi Texas.
A portion of the door proceeds will be donated to Surfer Girl of South Side Roller Derby of Pearland Texas who just tragically lost her son Dustin..