i had a bit of an anxiety attack before our last bout.
i've been co-ordinating our bouts since the second one SSRG put on. i thought it would be heaps of fun because i really liked throwing parties. now i look back at that niave young thing and laugh. oh how i laugh!
i would pretty much excuse myself from all social occasions and niceties in the week leading up to bout day, adding more things to lists each day than ever seemed to get crossed off of them.
i learnt a lot of things over my time in this role. for instance, certain types of jacks only give two channels of sound out of an iPod if you wiggle it out just a teensy bit and then tape it to the desk and then no one can touch it!!! never rent PA systems from a friend of a friend, because you can get it for cheap, unless you really like the idea of the freak out an hour before doors
open, because the system is so ancient that none of the band's leads actually fit the connections. lists are that honest friend who comes clean and tells you not to
leave the house in what you're wearng because it actually makes you look their mum when they were 10, and not the hot 80's revival Madonna look you are going for at all - that friend is telling you the truth because they care and you need to listen to them and do what they say.
most importantly, the best way to get lots of things done is to get other people to do them and the sooner you learn this one the easier your life will be.
don't get me wrong, the feeling of sorting out an adequate sound system, everything happening reasonably on time, finally crossing that last thing off the list and coming out the other end of another freekin rad night thinking "whatever that was that just happened, i liked it" is well worth it.
a year ago when i was so overwhelmed with everything i was trying to get done that i was stapling programs or fixing uniforms or writing runsheets the night before a bout, i'd turn up to the venue hyperventilating and not put down the paper bag until i was warming up, but things are different now, i'm more organised, i delegate, i know how long setup takes and how to handle things that go wrong (breathe).
so when i found myself relaxing with a coffee on a bout day morning, a highly unusual circumstance, i had time to actually think realistically about the coming night:
my team, the Golden Roughs had just lost 2 games in a row.
injuries had taken out a couple of our best jammers.
several girls we'd been training with for the last couple of months weren't cleared for bouting, so we were borrowing players who had taken part in a total of one training session with the team.
that night i was going to get up in front of hundreds, maybe thousands of people, in my underwear, wearing roller skates and have the crap beaten out of me while people screamed encouragement and took photos under harsh lighting.
i did not feel like the nubile, young filly, athletic thighs bursting with endorphins that one should in such circumstances.
now when i say i had time to relax, i had time to have a coffee and then i really had to go get some stuff done. i knew i had to go, but my bodies reaction of not moving, reflected that quite clearly, i didn't want to leave the coffee shop. i sat there for quite some time just sort of mumbling to myself about not wanting to leave, not needing to leave...ever, not wanting to leave, tapping insanely on the table and bouncing my leg like it was getting me points in Space Invaders. i wish i was exaggerating.
i got out of there eventually, i went home and, although i didn't really have time for it, removed all unwanted hair from my body and for some reason that made me feel better. i went on my merry way, got to the Arena a bit late, everything was being taken care of, i remained calm, directed my team that they new what they had to do and that they could do so competently, we won the game and in doing so, the season. hurrah!
i really have never minded not thinking about actually playing until everything has been taken care of for the night, doors are open, band is playing and we're warming up. as far as i am concerned, if i am not prepared athletically or strategically on bout day, there is nothing that can be done at that stage...except for lament not doing more cardio, drinking less beers and stretching properly after every training session...i like being occupied with more immediate concerns all day to take my mind off these things, there is no time to get nervous, freeze up in coffee shops or spend hours waxing it up like i'm Jenna Jameson getting ready for an important job interview.
this year is going to be different for me. although there is so much more to do, with bouts having become so much bigger, more complex and the crowds more demanding, than back when we were getting 300 punters along, troops have been rallied, it's all been done before and i don't have so much to worry about. i've left my post as captain after a year of making sure 14 other women are taken care of before myself and i don't even have a car anymore so someone else will be driving me to bouts (right team?).
in times of stress over the years i would whinge to myself "why can't i just turn up and skate like everybody else?!". now, several weeks out from our first bout for the year, i'm sitting wondering how the hell i'm going to survive bout day when all i have to think about is my own athletic performance.
