Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Ocho Cinco

My mom reminded me a few days ago about something I completely forgot..

As a child, a Catholic child.. we went to mass on Saturday night. To my mom, this meant that even though mass was at 7, we ladies began getting ready at 3. I got bathed first, and sat with my hair in HUGE rollers, petticoat and socks with the lace ruffles, and watched TV while my mom got prettied up. I can't beleive I forgot about this, but once she jogged my memory, it all came back to me. While my mom was getting ready, I would watch 2 solid hours of banked track derby. I don't recall the name of the team, and a quick search turned up zilch, but they wore green and yellow.

I remember on commercials, I use to slide back and forth on the tile in the kitchen and pretend to knock the crap out of the kitchen chairs and the fridge. I don't recall any injuries from actually making contact, but I sure was ferocious!! As soon as the commercial was over, I was back in front of the tube till my Dad's episode of HeeHaw came on..

During the week, I apparently jammed through the pack of stuffed animals in my room, and clotheslined them into the walls.

That probably directly contributed to my mom's claims of "she ain't right"..and my subsequent prescription for meds to calm me down..

I don't really remember how I got away from watching derby, or how I even forgot about it altogether..but I did. But I think the roots were already taking hold for what has now become "Boo Boo LaRue".. (this is my dad's nickname for me because I am clumsy, whenever I would fall, he would say "whoa there Boo Boo LaRue."..I called my son that one day out of the blue and thought what a perfect derby name for myself, and a lasting way to honor my ageing, dying father.)

I grew up, (all the way up to 6ft3) went to college, became a wife and a stepmother, then a mother and grandmother. I thought I was pretty OK with life, but I always felt..like something was amiss.

I tried for a long time to conform to what was acceptable to society, to not embarrass my kids. But I always kinda wanted to embrace my inner edgy chick..I just always kept her repressed.

Moving on..I got settled in the monotony of my life, and I even got depressed. I gained weight. Alot of it. I weighed almost 422lbs at my worst.

About the same time I was at my heaviest.. a death,a drowning occured. I was left in pieces. Broken. May 2008. I laid in bed, and cried for almost 5 solid months. When I finally did decide to get up and get out.. "Fight or Flight"..I joined my first derby team.

They say you should never regret anything, because at one point, it's exactly what you wanted. Most of that is true..but I think there's parts of what you think you wanted, that you could do without. That's how it was for me, I probably should have gotten my grieving over with first, perhaps suffered from a tad of PTSD. Perhaps it was just high time for me to get my ass kicked..

Derby, can break you, if your weak. It damn near broke me. I injured myself, skating without a helmet, and a plastic clip in the back of my head..got a concussion. It did hypnosis, and shed many tears, and second guessed why I had the mental block, driving people insane with it. I threw my helmet down and sat on the bench with tears in my eyes many times. Swore this was it. But I always came back. Glutton for punishment I reckon..or for the love of derby..I guess I was stronger, had more tenacity, then even I knew.

Perhaps if I had started derby, after getting my grief worked out first, I would not have made things so very diffcult for myself..but thats how I am. I always tell people, if there is a simple way, and a hard way, I surely will go about things the hard way.

That's not to say I was alone in this.. any derby girl worth her salt knows that drama follows derby girls around like starving children at a Pizza Hut Buffet..

I thought, to an extent, the secret to me being more fit, to me being stronger, emotionally, and to me finally beginning to get over my grief, was derby. I put myself through more than I should, because I thought I had to have derby, I guess I was afraid of reverting..

I really should have given up.. after a year, I should have either just quit trying to skate, or just been satisfied with being an NSO. But, I was happy with being more fit, and losing 160lbs..and my stubborn streak was firmly in place. I was not going to let this kick my ass. So, after a big hullabaloo.. I struck out on my own. That began Gulf Coast Rollergirls Version 1.


Bits of life really suck sometimes.. I had to learn to stop worrying about those bits..