Crossover challenged..

I shall forever be.

Ayup, that's me.

Aside from my first initial stupid "accident", every single time I have ever injured myself, even slightly, has been in my attempt to do a crossover...

But more on that later.

I have to say, I am pretty fortunate in my lack of heavy duty injuries, meaning stuff requiring surgery, but that has alot to do with my lack of seeing heavy duty action.

My first injury was known as a 'giner shiner. I use to only be able to only get up like some weird gorilla, popping up on my stoppers, and using a knuckle to push up. So I had someone decide she was going to teach me how to rock back on my stoppers and pop up.

This was right around the time I wasn't eating, so I lacked energy, and some muscle tone. About the 10th time I rocked back went to pop up and my legs just shook and gave out..I landed hard on my back wheel.

I was sexually assaulted by my skate wheel.

It didn't even buy me a drink first..or make promises it didn't intend on keeping...

It could have at least given me a roofie...or a floorie.. cause thats where I ended up. (Like that girls? We quote The Hangover constantly..lol)

I just laid there, alternating between laughing and crying for almost 10 minutes..and cursing anyone who came near me..

It hurt to pee for danged near a week.

My butt crinkles just thinking back on that incident..

Now for my crossover impaired-ness...

I can't do it. I don't know why I can't, but I can't..(yes I am aware I will fail a WFTDA min. skills requirement test, so ain't it grand we ain't a WFTDA team?)

When I do the turns I either put all my weight on one leg and extend the other out, leaning in to the curve or put my feet end to end and kinda spread em and lean in...if that makes sense..

The first time I attempted a crossover, I had the sheer brilliance of NOT wearing a helmet, and having a plastic clip in the back of my head, when I went to crossover on the highly varnished part of the floor, I fell...backwards. slammed my head into the floor, jamming the clip into my skull, knocking myself out cold. My teamates at the time had the added genius of removing my knee, and elbow pads, and wrist guards, and LEFT MY SKATES ON!! So when I came to, of course I was asked if I was ok, and as I stood up all dizzy, saying I was ok, WITH MY SKATES STILL ON, I fell again, and fractured my elbow.

Nice eh?

Yeah so once I got the all clear, it took me 2 months of putting my stoppers on the edge of the floor looking at them and going "yeah..um.. NO.. not happening today." and I sat back down.

At one point, when I finally mustered the courage and went over the spot where I injured myself, I hyper ventilated, cried, and my man had to come drag me across the spot.

Nice tough derby girl,eh?

I finally had to get hypnotized..which yes, it did work, it took the fear out, and no, I didn't bark like a dog when I saw the color red, but she did put little cues in my subconscious...

So eventually I picked it back up again, but ever so slowly...so at one point..I started hauling ass again. Well, as fast as my ass would go, and I went to attempt a crossover again...

Boom..

Boom.......

POW!!!!

Yeah.. so I fell with my full body weight on my left side..with my arm twisted up behind me. At first it just felt limp, but I was determined not to suffer another setback like before. But by the end of practice, when I took my pads and wristguard off, it was kind of evident what was keeping it "in place" was the padding..I really thought I was being a wuss, so I went home. By the time I got home, it had swollen up so badly and I couldn't even move it.

Off to the ER. Dislocated it at the shoulder, and a nice sprained wrist.

The nurses were nice though.. I got alot of nice pics with them..

So.. I think I forever will be crossover challenged..but I have bought one of those core balance board things to try and work on it...

But it still doesn't get around my childhood nickname of Grace...my Momma says I can trip over a blade of grass.

Actually, she said I can trip over the SHADOW of a blade of grass...

So anybody wanna lay money on me getting through my entire derby career major injury free? LOL.

Betcha it will be crossover related....