"I said GET DOWN!!!"

.......use to hear that all the time. Wasn't my fault, that i'm over 6ft tall..(I use to be 6ft3, but we have since discovered with age I have shrunk..so with skates on, I am around 6ft3 again)...

As I was saying, wasn't my fault I am gigantic, and my skater position is the same height as you normal sized peoples standing up position.

Yeah...'eff you tiny.

I was gonna write this blog all about fitness and everything I have ever had drilled in my head from the get go, but then I decided something better to write about would be my own personal trials and tribulations with losing weight, trying to get fit, and trying to be taught to skate by tiny people.

One of my dear friends, Jackrabbit Slams, from Tuscon Roller Derby, once said something to me that always stood out.. "it's hard to be taught to skate properly by a tiny chick. Until they try to skate on stilts with a small child strapped to their back, they will never know what it's like to skate like someone our size."

She is 100% correct. I had frustrated small chick after frustrated small chick try to teach me how to do this skill and that maneuver, to no avail. I either had to figure it out myself, or a few things I did learn from someone else, was from a skater who was almost as tall as I am.

That aside, one of the biggest things that set me back, was nutrition. Or lack thereof. As I have said before I was huge. I wanted to lose weight, so I went about it all the wrong way. I just stopped eating.

Big mistake.

Huge..

Bigger than my ass at the time...

What it does, is makes you extremely weak, because your metabolism slows down and then in turn your body basically eats itself. It eats your muscle for nourishment, before it eats the fat.

So everytime I hit the rink, I was so weak, lightheaded, it took little to nothing to knock me down, and I lacked the physical ability or muscle tone to get back up.

So my team captain at the time pulled me aside and said I needed to be doing more squats and lunges.. so I did them like mad. Still wasn't eating though, so it was all for naught. I got accused of not doing my squats and lunges because I was so weak. I recall the convo clearly "No, I do them like mad.." .."well what are you eating?" "eat? I don't eat!"

Team Captain wigged out on me..

So here is what I did do..she had me do a 7 days blueberry detox. Basically I had a blueberry smoothie every morning..not really a defined recipe for me. What I did was mix a cup of frozen blueberries, with some lowfat milk,plain vanilla lowfat yogurt, and a cup of plain,or strawberry whey protein.

I prayed for death to take me days 1-3. It cleans out your system something fierce. You pee, you sweat, you have a love affair with the Tidy Bowl man. But it jump starts your body, purging it of all the toxins. You seriously detox your body...and once thats over..you begin eating several small meals a day, every 4 hours. I myself enjoy those Special K protein shakes,or things like boiled eggs, grilled chicken, can of tuna.

It's amazing, once I started eating several small meals a day..my metabolism picked way up. I really dropped some weight, and my energy really started kickin like chicken. I could go all practice, and have the energy to pick myself up off the floor...

It was all due to proper nutrition. Starving yourself is never the answer.

I also still do stupid crap like 5 hour energy shots, with triple shots of liquid B-12 under the tongue, and a RedLine energy drink on the way to practice..makes me all hyped up like a crackhead..

Sometimes when I am feeling really crappy I will have some instant energy.. a spoonful of peanut butter.. that always works for a quick pick me up.

Another key is water. Lots and lots of it.. if you can see your pee, then your not drinking enough...

I also take my daily vitamin, my super omega 3-6-9, and my glucosomin and chondritan everyday, with an Elations joint drink, or I just don't move..I have a bad knee, comes from years of being jammed underneath a fat chick..

Yeah all this sounds really great.. doesn't it? I would be really thin if I took my eating habits, and coupled them with proper exercise. I have a bike, a bowflex, 600lbs of free weights, an elliptical, an ab roller, balance board, and even Roller Derby workout on DVD.

Yeah....I will get to that part some day...right now my routine consists of those new Skechers Shape Up Tennis Shoes and me walking to the tanning bed, nail salon and the mailbox..

Very taxing!!

I am still learning to skate correctly..but I am learning MY way.. the little chicks just cheer me on now..

It's nice not to be screamed AT...