Thursday, February 18, 2010

it's definately fractured


nervous. i've got my feet resting on a wooden table, on a wooden floor, pretty sure this couch has some wood in it made myself some little wooden booties out of match sticks.
i always think it's fractured, fractured or torn, but i've never actually hurt myself very badly. there was the time i decided that roller skating should be a a legitimate form of transportation for my person, while residing in place named highgate hill, had way less of my pretty skin for a while, but the consequences of my actions were much less debilitating than they could have been. i've put my rib sort of out of position and nearly dislocated my shoulder and obtained some crazy, big haematoma in my hip, but nothing major ever. TOUCH WOOD.
by the end of last year though i was just about ready to throw in the the helmet though. fatigue. it hurt a freekin lot every time i fell on my knees, everything hurt most of the time and my energy levels were really low. under too much stress, looking after my team and league before myself and sort of sub-consciously deciding to never give myself a moment to think about the trauma i had been through the year before in order to get through, i piled projects on projects.
this year i vowed that things would be different. the distraction helped with the emotional side of things, but having so much on my plate, left me barely caring about any of it, not enjoying training and not having the time to look after myself. there was a point where i actually started to have my meals, all of my meals, delivered in a big styrofoam box, because, despite my very convenient to a range of restaurants location, i just was not even going to have time to pick up takeaway.
we had six weeks off over xmas and i barely even looked at a pair of roller skates and was pretty damn happy about it. i didn't exercise at all.
i became a bit uncomfortable with how damaging to my body playing roller derby is. sure it means i stay pretty fit, even when i think i'm being lazy, but it is such a full on chain of actions to put your body through. get hit, have the a rib crushed into your shoulder...area, fall on the pointiest part of your hip twice in a row for some reason, bang, crash, etc, then don't stretch properly afterwards.
so this year i have joined a gym that has millions of yoga and pilates classes so that i can counteract a little that which i am purposefully putting my body through.
gaining much neglected strength in my mid and upper body makes me feel like i am in so much more control when i am skating, stretching out my butt muscles for like 10 minutes on either side in a hatha yoga class i think is just making me way less grumpy in general. feeling as though my body is getting a bit of love and growth instead of pain and punishment is making me want to keep playing instead of getting all old, conservative attitude about using what my mamma gave me.
doing what we do to our bodies, and only a derby girl knows it is harder than it actually looks, i'm beginning to realise how important it is to give some back and show my poor embattled body how much i appreciate what it does for me on the off days, cause it won't keep on like this forever, no matter how much wood i touch. i'm just glad that i've realised how important it is to get a more holistic approach before i actually tore a groin muscle and couldn't get none of my favourite anti-depressant.

ROUGE!