i'm still a bit sore - more my ego than my body - although it STILL SORTA HURTS TO CHEW CHEWY STUFF!! but it's not like we lost by a hundred points or anything..a mere 98 points! hah! nothin!
lost my shit a bit after the game. a year of a half worth of emotional stress and mental stress and physical stress and that regular stress, made some big crack spilled out as some yelling...real loud. i silenced a room, and then got really embarrassed, and then realised i need to take a break and address a few things.
so i'm taking a bit of a break until i feel like it.
that's the entirety of the plan.
i HAVE got a couple of awesome and SSRG complete tee shirt design images trying to get out of this image-maker skull of mine though. YES!
i didn't get to out-eat pancakes anyone after wards. sad face. i was upset. Ruby Footcrusher and i went home, with a bottle of wine (or was that...SEVERAL..?), sara-lee sticky date pudding, milo ice cream and some soul baring OH!
the fog of a weeks worth of fucking fucked upish and down and down and upish and down and down of depression is lifting.
i'm realising that i don't HAVE TO play rollerderby, i don't have to be at every single training and help in every single way i can and play every single bout and ignore most other facets of my life in order to keep that up. but i might still, but knowing that if we broke up, it wouldn't be the end of the world is giving me a sense of clarity that i haven't felt in a long time.
i still love you roller derby, i just need a bit of space, i feel like we're growing in different directions, it's not you, it's me...we can still be friends...xoxoxo sad, but hopeful and relieved face
