Wednesday, May 19, 2010

The JackRabbit/Boo Boo Collaboration..

This is a joint venture between Jackrabbit Slams, and Boo Boo LaRue..

I realize this may offend some people..but we both came from WFTDA teams..we are both mutant amazons..this is just how WE feel..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey, remember when roller derby was more about strategy and big hits rather than everyone skating as freaking fast as they can?

Yeah, that was fun.

Eff you, Tiny. I'm 6ft2....spend a week skating on stilts with a small child on your back and then you're qualified to tell me how to skate.

If I want help, I will ask. but the first thing out of your mouth had better not be "get low" or the next thing out of your mouth WILL be "oh my god my face, what the hell did you do to my face you psychotic bitch." It's not MY fault that my "get low in the skater position" is basically the same height as you standing upright. I am a mutant amazon. Deal with it. You'll be thanking me when your jamming your tiny ass off and I have cleared a damn path for you like Moses through the Red Sea. My height or my skater position won't matter a damn bit then. Just what's on the scoreboard.

This game needs to be approached from the angle of "what gets people to buy tickets?" because at the end of the day, that's what keeps the league going. Joe Random can spend his Saturday night doing a multitude of different things, so why bother with roller derby if it's just girls going in a circle? Female sports, whoopee. LPGA. Softball. Synchronized swimming. BORING. Roller derby had that weird, punk rock edge to it. It was an anti-sport. It was FUN, and now it's being run by a bunch of teeny tiny athletic chicks with the highschool cheerleader pack mentality who think everyone on the league needs to skate just like them. I DON'T SKATE LIKE YOU, I SKATE LIKE ME!! WHAT WORKS FOR YOU DOESN'T WORK FOR ME!!

That must be one hell of a dimension you live in, but here on earth, EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. Here's an amazing, earth-shattering revelation: not everyone wants to jam. Not everyone is quick. Stop forcing them to do so and stop shaming them and punishing them when they can't.

When I started skating, roller derby was the most amazing, awesome, life-changing sport I've ever seen. Most days it still is..but I see alot of girls come and go, tears streaming down their face, because they can't skate like "those girls"

I was one of them for the longest time. The tears, the reproaches.

You just gotta find your niche, find your mark, take into account what everybody says in the way of advice, but ultimately find what works best for you, because no one person is going to have the ultimate solution for you.

For me, it was different stoppers, still getting over my glitch from a bad fall, getting away from negativity, and letting someone rent space in my head..

And it's true, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger..or makes you mean as hell...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Here is me demonstrating the proper way to sexually harrass a hot head coach..