Thursday, February 25, 2010

the non-derby populace

respect your non-derby friends or you will lose them.
ease them in. introduce them to one derby girl at a time; make sure you sometimes bring up other topics
that they might like to talk about.
teach them rules of play one at a time by using examples from real life. for instance, you are out dancing..."this is so just like in derby! bumping arses is pretty fun...but i guess punching you in the face right now probably wouldn't be that cool, hey?" it's amazing how you can draw comparisons between almost anything and derby.
only go in for the hug after a bout if they move in first - they're used to seeing you really sweaty, they might not realise just how moist you are and being that it's a saturday night, they'll probably be wanting to go out and pick up afterwards. good friends don't drench friends in their heady scent and ruin their chances with the opposite/same sex.
don't invite your non-derby friends over for "dinner" and serve up protein bars and gatorade and kick them out after 6 minutes because that's how long you usually get for that particular activity.
the non-derby population doesn't necessarily regard punching each other in the boobs as a great way to end a night, test the waters first with a cheeky side-boob pinch and gauge their reaction before going in for the king hit.
lovers sometimes like to be regarded as more than just a bit of a thigh workout in between training sessions. included things like "i care about your feelings..." before "but get back down on the bed!" and "i really like the way your eyes reflect the loveliness of your soul..." before "...maybe if you strengthened your core a little, we could do it from this angle".
respect is a two way street and if you want your regular, softcore friends to respect your new lifestyle choice, it's the little things that count and the time you spend sharing quality time together which doesn't include you having them do hardness tests on your thighs, but showing them that you care about their interests as well, by having extensive conversations about handbags and shoes.


Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Doin' some old fashioned book judgin'..

Respect of a different sort..

I am gonna talk about respect as well..but in a different vein than what my blog sisters before me talked about.

I'm gonna talk about the respect non derby people do, or do not give us.. for what ever reason. But it mostly applies to my fellow derby sisters around the world who choose to make themselves stand out with their whatever way they choose..

It's about respect, but to an extent it's also about a form of being biased.. a "racism" of sort. Or having an elitist attitude.

There is an old adage about not judging a book by it's cover. Most people have their mind made up about you upon the first 60 seconds of meeting you. So to that, my mother always said "you never get a second chance to make a first impression."

Screw that.

You also only have one life to live, so may as well live it making YOURSELF happy, instead of trying to spend it preparing for a neverending cycle of possible first impressions.

The first team I was on, was filled with what you expect derby girls to look like. Tattoo's, piercings, weird haircolors, gauged ears..funky clothes.

And when we ventured out of our "area" we got "the look"

You know the look...the plastics give "omg, lower income people who spend all their money on trashy things, I MUST grasp my purse tightly and look nervously around."

I don't think the girls I was with at the time ever noticed it, they were used to it. I noticed it because I had the inner freak, but I always tried to conform..I have over 25 tattoos, most were hidden, upteen hidden body piercings, although my lebret had been pierced since 2000. I was fairly normal looking..

But even then.. when I first got my piercing, people stared, avoided eye contact. I even have a dear friend of mine now.. who then didnt know me, sit in her car in fear staring at me because of the piercing and my size.

Once she talked to me, she looked at her daughter and said, right in front of me.. "Look Heather, she is really nice, and smart too!"

Now, I have my septum done, my nose, my lebret,rook, tragus..had my eyebrows done numerous times, they always reject..and now I have very obvious tattoo's on my arms..and my hair is pink.

I get it all the time.."Derby freak"..they assume it all means I am poorly educated, shifty, can't keep a job.. just a n'er do well..

Because we choose to make ourselves happy.. and because we don't look like everybody else..

On the contrary..I have a degree, I have a job, i'm fluent in 4 languages passable in a 5th...I just happen to look like a weirdo...

The moral of the story...derby girls have originality..individuality..just because we don't look like everybody else, doesn't mean we are all miscreants..give us enough respect to find out who we are, and what we are about before you just dismiss us..

You might just be missing someone who can bring something fantastic to your life underneath all those tattoo's and metal and haircolor and fantastic weirdness...


Respect for our personal choices...

Respect that not everybody is the same....

Respect that maybe our "book" has a far different cover than yours.. it doesn't bring our "face value" down at all..


Tuesday, February 23, 2010


So Karma chose Respect :) Let's go with it...
I get this question a alot when I am trying to recruit girls or just bring awareness about the sport..."If it's no rules, do you punch eachother in the face? or do you kick eachother in the face?" My answer is always the same, in my experience playing roller derby on my team, we don't hit in the face as part of our game ya know? All of us have lives to go back to after, some of us have kids that we need to be an example to, some of us have to be back at work on Monday morning and out of RESPECT, I wouldn't hit anyone in the face because I wouldn't want to be hit right back lol.
I have respect for anyone who steps foot and at least tries to play roller derby and I admire each person out there bouting.
I went to a Renegade bout over the weekend and it was awesome! I saw the ROLLER DERBY VIXEN herself, Sugar Crash kicking ass out there! It was an awesome bout...and I observed the respect that these ladies have for eachother. It's always cool to see when girls scuffle with eachother and help eachother up or give eachother a high five after! Now that's respect!

Monday, February 22, 2010


So i have been impatiently waiting for our topic of the week......haven't received any e mail or maybe i missed it so i have come up with the fun topic of RESPECT.... respect to me is can be the difference between a good team to a great team........ Respect is either ingrained in us or order to receive respect you must give it......very similar to "in order to be a leader,,, you must first learn how to follow".....

Respect is a huge aspect of any sport and rollerderby being no the extreme circumstances of rollerderby it should be part of the training.....its like we already have weapons (our skates) on our feet.......making rash decisions out of anger or frustration on the track could cause someone getting there teeth knocked out or worse....... i have said this time and time again ...... there is no room for anger on the rink...... you are not the only person out there so be aware of your emotions....... respect the other players your own team mates.....learn to realize when enough is enough..... take yourself off the rink if anger becomes an issue........

I have played on a few different teams and anger has always been an issue....... having respect enough to realize you are wrong for smashing someone because "you can" or even better because you have "had a bad day" a pretty selfish mode........ well guess what we are all dealing with some sort of massive stressful situations at home.......leave it there......your better off keeping your personal issues at versa same thing .......everyone knows how much drama is delt with in a league....... you don't want to bring that home either........find a place that is suitable to take on those issues and learn to step away when need be.......

My passion is always mistaking for reply to that is "i have yet to make anyone bleed, right!"......then i politely ask them to back up off me and until i do anything wrong then step to me........but until then step away my friend.....step away ........well i can go on and on about respect......its more than a word its a lifestyle.........allot like rollerderby its more than a sport its a lifestyle ......this is why respect and rollerderby really need to walk hand in hand.......respect is everything you see.....with out it...... you are nothing to me!!!!!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Injuries are all real in Derby!

Injuries come in all different shapes, sizes and different areas of all kinds. I've seen a lot of crazy injuries during roller derby due to it being so aggressive and extreme.

Most girls think bruises and scrapes are pretty and feel proud towards it. Others like me can't stand floor burn and rink rash! I always wear figure skating skin colored thick tights under my fishnets. I can't just do fishnets by themselves, especially when your skating on concrete! I've seen rink rash that formed the shape of the fishnets its pretty cool looking but the feeling of a rink rash is not fun in my book.

The main hurtful injury I got that took me completely out of a game was in Arizona for ESPN filming, There were these huge wooden post that held the building up. One of my team players did a whip for me to get through and next thing you know the opposing team slams into me knocking me face first into this post. Now the post was padded up but not all the way, So my face hit towards the bottom of the post, and my legs fell foward everyone said it was like a cartoon incident, they've never seen anything like that it. Of course I got up, it took me a few but I got up and tried to skate but I seriously saw stars and couldn't even stand up. With my helmet strap just completly choking my neck when hitting the post kept me out of breath too. Took me out of rest of the game.

I've never broken anything, I had a small little sprain on my knee once but not from skating. Never really have had any real injuries. All my teeth are real, my nose is straight, only thing that I usually get is bruised up, even with my thick tights on, and scratches on my arms. I kicked myself in the mouth one practice and wasn't wearing a mouthguard and I can't imagine getting a tooth knocked out I think that's one of my biggest fears. I hate doctors and hospitals, I think just reallllly getting injured scares me to death, but you kinda gotta look at what your doing, anything can happen and when it happens, it happens without even knowing what happened.

I've seen broken ankles, broken fingers, broken wrists, bruises, scratches, I've even seen teeth marks on a girl once!
I think I've seen more injuries while working at the roller rink during public session hours. I've seen teeth get knocked out a broken bone somewhere at least once to every other week.

My team plays by no holds barred full contact and we never really get seriously injured. I've seen other team's players in a sling after their game, never really understood cause they play by rules, and have referees, along with penalty boxes and I see more injuries in that. We have injuries that take our team players out of our games, but It hasn't left them in a sling or crutches.

To avoid injuries, you have to pay attention in every single angle of your surroundings, sometimes the opposing team can pop out of noowhere. You have to learn how to fall safe and properly, and yes there is a right way to fall! Always wear your protective gear and make sure it fits tight, You don't want knee pads that are gonna slide down and not protect you when you have a knee fall. Thick tights are amazing, sometimes I'll double them depending on what kind of surface I'm skating on. Drinking plenty of water helps you stay hydrated and not make you dizzy, nautious, etc.
Try to hold falls as much as you can, I've seen girls just slam themselves on the floor when they're about to fall, and will their sit there for a while, while their opposing team are scoring points, Try to avoid falling as much as possible. When you fall jump right back up and get back in the game. Sitting on the floor can cause further injuries, someone can skate over your finger (NOT FUN!), fall right on top of you due to you being in the way and them not looking.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

it's definately fractured

nervous. i've got my feet resting on a wooden table, on a wooden floor, pretty sure this couch has some wood in it made myself some little wooden booties out of match sticks.
i always think it's fractured, fractured or torn, but i've never actually hurt myself very badly. there was the time i decided that roller skating should be a a legitimate form of transportation for my person, while residing in place named highgate hill, had way less of my pretty skin for a while, but the consequences of my actions were much less debilitating than they could have been. i've put my rib sort of out of position and nearly dislocated my shoulder and obtained some crazy, big haematoma in my hip, but nothing major ever. TOUCH WOOD.
by the end of last year though i was just about ready to throw in the the helmet though. fatigue. it hurt a freekin lot every time i fell on my knees, everything hurt most of the time and my energy levels were really low. under too much stress, looking after my team and league before myself and sort of sub-consciously deciding to never give myself a moment to think about the trauma i had been through the year before in order to get through, i piled projects on projects.
this year i vowed that things would be different. the distraction helped with the emotional side of things, but having so much on my plate, left me barely caring about any of it, not enjoying training and not having the time to look after myself. there was a point where i actually started to have my meals, all of my meals, delivered in a big styrofoam box, because, despite my very convenient to a range of restaurants location, i just was not even going to have time to pick up takeaway.
we had six weeks off over xmas and i barely even looked at a pair of roller skates and was pretty damn happy about it. i didn't exercise at all.
i became a bit uncomfortable with how damaging to my body playing roller derby is. sure it means i stay pretty fit, even when i think i'm being lazy, but it is such a full on chain of actions to put your body through. get hit, have the a rib crushed into your shoulder...area, fall on the pointiest part of your hip twice in a row for some reason, bang, crash, etc, then don't stretch properly afterwards.
so this year i have joined a gym that has millions of yoga and pilates classes so that i can counteract a little that which i am purposefully putting my body through.
gaining much neglected strength in my mid and upper body makes me feel like i am in so much more control when i am skating, stretching out my butt muscles for like 10 minutes on either side in a hatha yoga class i think is just making me way less grumpy in general. feeling as though my body is getting a bit of love and growth instead of pain and punishment is making me want to keep playing instead of getting all old, conservative attitude about using what my mamma gave me.
doing what we do to our bodies, and only a derby girl knows it is harder than it actually looks, i'm beginning to realise how important it is to give some back and show my poor embattled body how much i appreciate what it does for me on the off days, cause it won't keep on like this forever, no matter how much wood i touch. i'm just glad that i've realised how important it is to get a more holistic approach before i actually tore a groin muscle and couldn't get none of my favourite anti-depressant.


Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Crossover challenged..

I shall forever be.

Ayup, that's me.

Aside from my first initial stupid "accident", every single time I have ever injured myself, even slightly, has been in my attempt to do a crossover...

But more on that later.

I have to say, I am pretty fortunate in my lack of heavy duty injuries, meaning stuff requiring surgery, but that has alot to do with my lack of seeing heavy duty action.

My first injury was known as a 'giner shiner. I use to only be able to only get up like some weird gorilla, popping up on my stoppers, and using a knuckle to push up. So I had someone decide she was going to teach me how to rock back on my stoppers and pop up.

This was right around the time I wasn't eating, so I lacked energy, and some muscle tone. About the 10th time I rocked back went to pop up and my legs just shook and gave out..I landed hard on my back wheel.

I was sexually assaulted by my skate wheel.

It didn't even buy me a drink first..or make promises it didn't intend on keeping...

It could have at least given me a roofie...or a floorie.. cause thats where I ended up. (Like that girls? We quote The Hangover

I just laid there, alternating between laughing and crying for almost 10 minutes..and cursing anyone who came near me..

It hurt to pee for danged near a week.

My butt crinkles just thinking back on that incident..

Now for my crossover impaired-ness...

I can't do it. I don't know why I can't, but I can't..(yes I am aware I will fail a WFTDA min. skills requirement test, so ain't it grand we ain't a WFTDA team?)

When I do the turns I either put all my weight on one leg and extend the other out, leaning in to the curve or put my feet end to end and kinda spread em and lean in...if that makes sense..

The first time I attempted a crossover, I had the sheer brilliance of NOT wearing a helmet, and having a plastic clip in the back of my head, when I went to crossover on the highly varnished part of the floor, I fell...backwards. slammed my head into the floor, jamming the clip into my skull, knocking myself out cold. My teamates at the time had the added genius of removing my knee, and elbow pads, and wrist guards, and LEFT MY SKATES ON!! So when I came to, of course I was asked if I was ok, and as I stood up all dizzy, saying I was ok, WITH MY SKATES STILL ON, I fell again, and fractured my elbow.

Nice eh?

Yeah so once I got the all clear, it took me 2 months of putting my stoppers on the edge of the floor looking at them and going " NO.. not happening today." and I sat back down.

At one point, when I finally mustered the courage and went over the spot where I injured myself, I hyper ventilated, cried, and my man had to come drag me across the spot.

Nice tough derby girl,eh?

I finally had to get hypnotized..which yes, it did work, it took the fear out, and no, I didn't bark like a dog when I saw the color red, but she did put little cues in my subconscious...

So eventually I picked it back up again, but ever so at one point..I started hauling ass again. Well, as fast as my ass would go, and I went to attempt a crossover again...




Yeah.. so I fell with my full body weight on my left side..with my arm twisted up behind me. At first it just felt limp, but I was determined not to suffer another setback like before. But by the end of practice, when I took my pads and wristguard off, it was kind of evident what was keeping it "in place" was the padding..I really thought I was being a wuss, so I went home. By the time I got home, it had swollen up so badly and I couldn't even move it.

Off to the ER. Dislocated it at the shoulder, and a nice sprained wrist.

The nurses were nice though.. I got alot of nice pics with them..

So.. I think I forever will be crossover challenged..but I have bought one of those core balance board things to try and work on it...

But it still doesn't get around my childhood nickname of Momma says I can trip over a blade of grass.

Actually, she said I can trip over the SHADOW of a blade of grass...

So anybody wanna lay money on me getting through my entire derby career major injury free? LOL.

Betcha it will be crossover related....

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Injured Soldiers of the Renegade Army

I've been dealing with a chronic injury since May of last year, I initally tore my ACL which healed and was exhaserbated by lateral impact around August, which we get a lot of in derby. After our October bout, I did a take down in which I some how did a somersault while holding the other girl throwing her over my shoulder, in bearing the weight of two people...I tore my meniscus...I had no clue what I had done until later on, it hurt so bad, but what hurt most of all was that I couldn't get back in the game, especially when I was on a roll and taking out like a pimp lol !
I played our November bout and I didn't let the pain get to was mind over matter at that point. Our team founder required a doctor's note for me to skate so I b-lined it to the doctor to get one. She was always very concered for the safety of the girls on the team.
After that I had surgery to repair the tear, it was actually pretty cool and I have a picture of the post was nice and swollen and purple's in my phone but i don't know how to send it to the computer because I haven't set up an "enterprise e-mail" account...Dang blackberrys.....otherwise, i'd post it up.
I'm good though now, it's been tough watching my comrades skate and I can't sometimes but I stuck it through...It seemed like it would be forever when I heard mid-february till recovery, but hey I made it!!! WOOOO!
So that's my story, through my 2009 season with the Renegade Roller Girls of So Cal, the injuries have been minimal on our's mostly the same people over and over again hahaha. DTP, our team founder has broken her elbow, torn her PCL and a few other things she is probably hasn't told us hahaha.
During the 1/22/10 bout in Arizona, one of the members of the Arizona Renegades broke her ankle right in front of me! In irony, it was the same place that one of our former members broke her ankle during the season opener in January of 09. It was gut instinct is to run over and try to make the person feel better, but you can't do anything to help, I still cringe thinking about must have been excruciating, I hope she is doing ok.
I've seen a lot of girls fall hard and just need a minute to take that fall in and then they get right back up again...when I see that, I'm like damn, the women of derby are amazing.
There are a number of reasons why girls get injured, some are because we try too hard, or too little, or we take the game personally and start taking it out on others....or shit just happens's what we do, if I didn't know the risk, I'd be playing tennis or golf or something, but that requires balls flying everywhere really fast and that's even scarier hahahaha!
Hope everyone had a Happy Valentine's Day!!!!!

Monday, February 15, 2010

Boo Boo's

Rollerderby being as extreme as it is.........the injuries can be even more extreme.........i think the worst injuries that i have seen through out the years had to definitely be Atomic Butterfly from ICT Wichita Rollergirls..........there was a bad collision at practice between her and another fellow rollergirl.......... Atomic Butterfly's ankle was no longer a part of her body........she snapped it off her leg.........she still plays till this day...... talk about a die hard.......the only thing that bothers her is the pins that connect her ankle back to her when she plays derby the pin tends to unscrew itself........its pretty cool you can see it on the outside of her ankle........

There are many different reasons why an injury can occur.............lack of stretching can definitely be a reason..........if you don’t stretch before and after a physical work out it can definitely cause strain on your muscles.........especially being as physical as rollerderby is.............another reason being would be lack of education.........i tell everyone i train that rollerderby is such a dangerous sport as it is.........people "being stupid" on the track and hitting you when( your off guard) the whistle had been blown.........or bringing anger to this sport is not safe either......anger definitely has to stay on the really have to be disciplined enough to realize that you are not the only one on the track.......

Funny but true.......Alot of the girls and there injuries occur off skates/off rink..........ironic as it is..........everything from sprained ankles to busted for track.........something stupid ex......we had a meet and greet and i was skating outside on the sidewalk.........hit a crack literally fell on my back and some how some way in the middle of all the mumbo jumbo i sprained my ankle..........took me out for a couple weeks.........dumb as it may seem this type of thing happens more than any of us like to admit...........

Prevention of injuries...........Be aware of absolutely everything around you...........Stretch before and after practice..........and educate the newbie’s on the positive and the being the main key here..............remind people that everyone on the rink carries a certain responsibility when entering this sport..........responsibilities including caring yourself in a professional matter...........reminding people that this sport is already dangerous don’t make it any more dangerous as it is.........playing wisely..........not forgetting that we do have weapons on our feet and how important it really is to "fall small" so to speak...........the key here is safety...........

Much Derby Love


Sunday, February 14, 2010

Roller derby keeps me healthy and fit

I realized when I was in high school that I liked working out. This happened during my sophomore year when I randomly ended up at the swim team try outs for my high school swim team. While I was in the pool swimming laps, with the coaches above yelling at me, something inside me turned on: a drive to be fast and to be the best swimmer I could be. I ended up on the swim team for two years and absolutely loved the daily rigorous work outs it required.

There is no better feeling than the tired and muscle-less, yet accomplished and sharp, feeling that you get after a good work out. And then there's the hunger you get, and the satisfaction once you eat something. I also fell in love with the competition, being pushed to my athletic limit, and being a part of a team.

When I got to college I knew I wanted to join another sports team. I joined the novice crew team (rowing in an 8 person boat). At this point I realized I can push myself to levels of extreme exercise that most people can't. Crew was gnarly! We did erg machine workouts at 5 am that would have most girls puking by the end of the workout. We launched our row boat, barefoot, in icy cold water before the sun came up. We rowed through the "development" of our blisters, which were constantly getting splashed by the salt water because of the teetering of the uneven boat being controlled by 8 inexperienced rowers. And we couldn't let go of the salt water logged wood oar that was rubbing over and over on our open and bleeding "developing" blisters, or the oar we let go of would smack the girl behind us in the face. It was torture...and I loved it! All of it!

When I was done with college in 2004 I remember having a sinking feeling at the thought that I would never again have an opportunity to play on a competitive sports team. It was a horrible feeling and I remember really feeling like it would never ever happen again and that there was nothing I could do about it. Sure I could go play on a club or a community team, but those kinds of teams didn't have the level of intensity or seriousness that I craved.

When I found out about roller derby that something inside me, the same something I felt when I jumped in the pool the first day of swim team try outs, turned back on. All of a sudden I wanted to be the best skater and roller derby player I could be. Its been a long road, because four years ago, when I found out about roller derby, I couldn't even stand on roller skates. The last time I had had skates on was when I was about 10, and I wasn't very good then. Today I can not only skate, I can play roller derby. And roller derby provides me with a level of athleticism and competition that I never could have imagined having when I was graduating from college.

Roller derby has turned out to be the most challenging sport I have ever played. And aside from rowing and swimming I have also played softball, baseball, basketball, and football over the years, along with being a cheer leader and being on the dance team. Nothing challenged me like roller derby does. Roller derby challenges my mind and my body every single time I go to practice or play a game.

So along with this intense level of competition and athleticism comes a lot of responsibility as far as taking care of my body - at least for me it does. It took me awhile to get here, but I have a protein shake before and after practice now. I used to come home from practice, shower and go straight to bed. I never slept very well, if at all sometimes, on practice nights. I finally found out its imperative to replenish or recharge my body after a gnarly workout. I make my protein shakes with whey protein powder, cacao bits, a spoonful of peanut butter, a frozen banana, frozen blueberries, non fat plain yogurt, two dates, and rice milk. Sometimes I will add agave honey to sweeten it or vitamin c powder if I am feeling really crappy. I have noticed my endurance increase dramatically since I have been taking the protein shakes. I also take Emergencies, a vitamin c and vitamin b powder I mix with water, before and after practice.

I keep my diet full of fruits, vegetables, nuts, fish whenever possible, and lean meats. I eat a lot! Especially when I am going to practice regularly, which for me means skating 10-15 hours a week at practice, not including another 3-6 hours of skating outside at the beach. As long as I am getting all the good foods in, I allow myself to have bad stuff too.

It all seems to be working out because I am in the best shape I can ever remember being in and I am 29 years old. Once again, roller derby saved my ass. Quite literally actually, as I have never received so many compliments on my ass in my life!!

Kali Katt
Southern California Roller Derby Examiner

The opinions in this blog are the opinions of Kali Katt and no one elses.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Fitness starts NOW!

Alright so im 22 years old now, I started roller derby at 18. I'm 5'0 and always weighed around 110.
I always get asked if I'm a personal gym trainer or get asked how many hours a day I go to the gym.
People think I'm joking and that I'm a huge prick when I tell them I've never been the gym.

Growing up my rollerskating has always been my exersize. I didn't get any boobs till after I quit figure skating.
I always had rock solid abs and bigger muscles in my arms than a lot of dudes...hint my name The Dude.
Funny thing is I can't run cause I get really bad cramps and I start having breathing problems..
So in order for me to run I gotta be getting chased by "the bad guy" lol. I never took gym/PE in school I got out of it because of skating.

When I joined roller derby thats when I had to start excersizing to just survive practice. Those sit ups and pushups are a killer.
It was hard for me to skate half the skating floor due to how hard I push to cover the entire floor I had to train myself to skate a small track and let me tell you there's so many times I hit the wall just flat out of nowhere on the corners cause it was so different to me.

So I started swimming laps and skating super fast around the roller rink during session to gain my endurance. As a Jammer it tends to get super tiring after a Jam especially in a game when your nerves are just after your body! I'm known for doing 2-3 jams in a row, and then passing out. Training myself and exersizing at this new thing was a hassle but worth it in the end. teaching my body and my mind to skate fast continuously pushing on that small track was different to me. I still can't crosspull on the corner edges without hitting a wall and those of you who know and have seen my skating I have to put one foot in front and slide myself across the corners to avoid my safety from the walls let alone the crowd around me.

I started to go to the gym but I never knew how to use any of the equipment and everytime I asked for help I kinda felt unconfortable and humiliated by the look on their face, is this chick for real? Yes common sense to those who have been around just like if you ask me what types of wheels are for what easy for me to answer, understandable but yes I'm serious when I say I don't know how to use any of the equipment.

So I stopped going to the gym due to the embarrassment and all the evil looks people would give me when I walked in as tiny as I am.
So then I got a yoga mat and worked on stretching and I started to walk and run at the school grass area. Finally when those upcoming games came around I could play 3 games in a day with the endurance I trained myself. I quit figure skating with the jumps and spins at like 14, and those are what really kept me in shape and completed my endurance and after I quit I started geting lazy and my endurance slowly slowed down. Me being a great skater became me not being able to be the best skater cause I kept getting tired. So no matter who you are you always need to stay in shape and excersize to a point where your endurance and breathing keep up with you during a game.

Thursday, February 11, 2010


for me, living with chronic depression is like the mental equivalent of when you know you're going to get sick if you don't take some time out, get a good nights sleep, eat some vegetables and lay off the booze. if i do that stuff i don't get a head cold and have to lay in bed for three days; if i do that stuff and exercise regularly, i don't get sick in the mental section.

it seems all so logical, but i know that there are people that don't live under a blanket of doom for three days because they are in need of a green bean.

the formula is somewhat variable, i don't really function that well without stress, so time out can actually be detrimental, i get depressed and slothful. sometimes good night sleeps make me less functional than 5-6 hours a night for two weeks. not drinking can leave me pretty freekin tense (now confronting issues of moderation) but if i don't eat vegetables almost every day and i don't sweat a whole heap and feel my heart pounding through my chest at least 3 times a week, i tend to go a bit funny in the head.
not quite fruitiuos-loopious, call-the-men-with-the-white-van crazy, just a bit unhealthy, won't bore you with the details, sometimes i notice it, sometimes i don't.
so my delicious green and blue breakfast pill takes away the more unnatural of my symptoms, leaving me, i like to think, just more sensitive to my body and it's chemistry than most.

problem is, i'm a bit of an art-wanker. i would much rather spend my time staring at pictures and coming up with reasons why a shadow cast across a kitchen table explains the human condition, than going to the freekin gym.

so derby. derby does it again.
skipping training fills me with guilt and remorse at what awesome blocks others might gain while i'm not there and the living with other girls on my team tends to keep me pretty focused.
there are so many little goals you can set - gonna get faster than Roller McGee, gonna knock down Old McSkatey 16 times over the next 2 weeks, not gonna get my freekin arse smashed into the ground like some sort of not-particularly-fit-type in front of hundreds of people etc.

the nature of derby requires you to be so obsessed with it to play it. the fact that missing a training session is really quite upsetting, works so well for me, and i'm sure many others, because i really would rather be roller skating and hitting other people that are also roller skating and hitting other people, than staring into the endless chasm of my own mind (oh geezus not again).

life before derby involved me slipping back into the many distractions i am distracted by and not doing the regular amount of exercise that i require to keep un-mental. after not exercising for weeks, i would freaking , go to extremes, wear myself out, need to rest and be less obsessive and then go through the cycle again. argh!
the beauty of derby for me lies in it's extremity and it not being the realm of jocks and "the healthy people". i want to be around those people and i don't get bored.

YES i still think that the chemicals released in ma brain from sex are waaaay better than the ones i get from exercise, but unfortunately they don't seem to have as much of a lasting effect.
so i really like to be fit, i really like to be healthy, cause when i am i can do all sorts of things like "leave the house" and "hold conversations looking at the other person through my own eyes instead of those of the ant in the corner" - it's delightful!

it's not easy constantly staying on top of your own psyche, but derby makes the physical health and fitness that i apparently require to do so a hell of a lot easier to achieve, because it's fun and challenging and always changing and there's a bunch of people who would kick my arse if i skipped too many trainings.

the point i'm actually getting at is, regardless of the extremities of what happens to me when i stop exercising, i think it's really important for everyone to eat freekin broccoli and render your clothing saturated in secretions!! i believe i'm just some sort of hyper-sensitive case study and that everyone goes unwell mentally if they aren't looking after their body, they just don't necessarily notice it.
exercise is more important to me than taking my medication and i really think that so many people would function so much better if they just went for a freekin roller skate.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

"I said GET DOWN!!!"

.......use to hear that all the time. Wasn't my fault, that i'm over 6ft tall..(I use to be 6ft3, but we have since discovered with age I have with skates on, I am around 6ft3 again)...

As I was saying, wasn't my fault I am gigantic, and my skater position is the same height as you normal sized peoples standing up position.

Yeah...'eff you tiny.

I was gonna write this blog all about fitness and everything I have ever had drilled in my head from the get go, but then I decided something better to write about would be my own personal trials and tribulations with losing weight, trying to get fit, and trying to be taught to skate by tiny people.

One of my dear friends, Jackrabbit Slams, from Tuscon Roller Derby, once said something to me that always stood out.. "it's hard to be taught to skate properly by a tiny chick. Until they try to skate on stilts with a small child strapped to their back, they will never know what it's like to skate like someone our size."

She is 100% correct. I had frustrated small chick after frustrated small chick try to teach me how to do this skill and that maneuver, to no avail. I either had to figure it out myself, or a few things I did learn from someone else, was from a skater who was almost as tall as I am.

That aside, one of the biggest things that set me back, was nutrition. Or lack thereof. As I have said before I was huge. I wanted to lose weight, so I went about it all the wrong way. I just stopped eating.

Big mistake.


Bigger than my ass at the time...

What it does, is makes you extremely weak, because your metabolism slows down and then in turn your body basically eats itself. It eats your muscle for nourishment, before it eats the fat.

So everytime I hit the rink, I was so weak, lightheaded, it took little to nothing to knock me down, and I lacked the physical ability or muscle tone to get back up.

So my team captain at the time pulled me aside and said I needed to be doing more squats and lunges.. so I did them like mad. Still wasn't eating though, so it was all for naught. I got accused of not doing my squats and lunges because I was so weak. I recall the convo clearly "No, I do them like mad.." .."well what are you eating?" "eat? I don't eat!"

Team Captain wigged out on me..

So here is what I did do..she had me do a 7 days blueberry detox. Basically I had a blueberry smoothie every morning..not really a defined recipe for me. What I did was mix a cup of frozen blueberries, with some lowfat milk,plain vanilla lowfat yogurt, and a cup of plain,or strawberry whey protein.

I prayed for death to take me days 1-3. It cleans out your system something fierce. You pee, you sweat, you have a love affair with the Tidy Bowl man. But it jump starts your body, purging it of all the toxins. You seriously detox your body...and once thats begin eating several small meals a day, every 4 hours. I myself enjoy those Special K protein shakes,or things like boiled eggs, grilled chicken, can of tuna.

It's amazing, once I started eating several small meals a metabolism picked way up. I really dropped some weight, and my energy really started kickin like chicken. I could go all practice, and have the energy to pick myself up off the floor...

It was all due to proper nutrition. Starving yourself is never the answer.

I also still do stupid crap like 5 hour energy shots, with triple shots of liquid B-12 under the tongue, and a RedLine energy drink on the way to practice..makes me all hyped up like a crackhead..

Sometimes when I am feeling really crappy I will have some instant energy.. a spoonful of peanut butter.. that always works for a quick pick me up.

Another key is water. Lots and lots of it.. if you can see your pee, then your not drinking enough...

I also take my daily vitamin, my super omega 3-6-9, and my glucosomin and chondritan everyday, with an Elations joint drink, or I just don't move..I have a bad knee, comes from years of being jammed underneath a fat chick..

Yeah all this sounds really great.. doesn't it? I would be really thin if I took my eating habits, and coupled them with proper exercise. I have a bike, a bowflex, 600lbs of free weights, an elliptical, an ab roller, balance board, and even Roller Derby workout on DVD.

Yeah....I will get to that part some day...right now my routine consists of those new Skechers Shape Up Tennis Shoes and me walking to the tanning bed, nail salon and the mailbox..

Very taxing!!

I am still learning to skate correctly..but I am learning MY way.. the little chicks just cheer me on now..

It's nice not to be screamed AT...

Tuesday, February 9, 2010


Hello all, well the topic of the day is fitness HA! I am not a health nut by any means. I eat junk food and I love to eat in large amounts. I'm only 5 feet tall.
Once and while, I will jog at the track at a high school...I will reminise about a time when I weighed 105 pounds lol. I have a gym in my apartment buliding but its flooded with kids just playing with the equipment and I feel funny. I've never really stuck to a diet. I am just aweful at it.
It's funny, when I get to practice i'm eating, when I leave practice I go get something to eat. The girls know that I LOVE to eat and totally embrace that instead of making me feel ashamed of it.

I think roller derby has given me a new appreciation for my body and that I am sexy and strong exactly the way I am. When I first started playing roller derby, I lost like 12 pounds in a month!!! I was like WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO.
I used to be a little more self concious and derby has helped me not beat myself about it so much. Society puts these unreachable standards of what is beautiful and its difficult to not feel that pressure. We go out looking fine and we look damn good getting knocked on our ass out there no matter how much or how little we weigh. lol

My diet is laughter...I laugh at the ignorance, and immaturity of people calling eachother fat...and AFTERALL, laughter burns calories!!! So does HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!!!

Monday, February 8, 2010


Left side: Karmic Recall #911 FMDG Right side: Necro Mandi #2084 Harbor City

I woke the morning of SAT Feb 7th.....Not really knowing what to expect....Excitement drives my the passenger seat Reality hits..... we are such a new team.....allot of the girls new to this sport.........My first time playing with the FMDG All Star team.....Its our first season..... Call it beginners it what you will.....I'd personally like to call it a beautiful thing .....
With a great line up of girls.....Pure determination to make a positive name for ourselves in this crazy derby world!!!!!The heart and the passion......I'm sure 4 days a week of training had a lil somthin somthin to do with it....not to forget......-Bustin Morenose- from the Twin Cities Terrors.....He comes down and works with us every once and a while.......We couldn't have had a better Bench Coach......Congratulations Bustin you had an awesome debut......What a victory it was for all of us.....Impeccable job!!!!!

Final Score- 176 to 75 FMDG 2 for 2 we are working on our 3rd victory(traveling team)4th selling out 1700 seats......

Now we all know its not just the players......not just the bench coach.....not just the training......not just the sacrifices.......not just our passion.......or determination.....its the everything......the refs that brake there arm before the bout..... then go to the hospital........the volunteers...... even the bands that back out a day before......the events coordinators...Our announcer Julia Childless....the fans that get turned away from a sold out event.....the moms that are so proud and the dads that are glowing (thinking to themselves who needs a son when you have a rollerderby girl)......WIth out one of these links we are just a broken chain.......The captains ......The owners.......The jammers .......the blockers.......The sisters.......the brothers.......even the stockers lol.....Its all of us banding together for the same goal....for the chance to make a name for ourselves.....The photographers......the media.......the newspapers........its the ability of the players to put there personal drama aside if only for the victory......

Karmic Recall #911 proud member of FMDG ALL STARS chillin with her favorite fans!!!!

We love all of you.......we couldn't afford to do this with out you......Our efforts are paying off.....Our goal to be a part of WFTDA....we can taste.....Fargo Moorhead Roller Girls stand proud and fall even prouder......These pics say it all......The local newspaper says even more.......we are so lucky to have such a strong fan base.....strong leaders and people like "Bustin" that go out of there way to help us out.....We are 60 strong.....2 official teams and an all star team.......The civic center 1700 seats to fill......even ticket master doin there thing......

Left side- Nekro Mandi #2084 Harbor City Right side- Karmic Recall #911 FMDG

That night we celebrated like no other.......Sharpie included.......Signing everyone that crossed my path......a little intoxicated ok alot intoxicated .......empty pockets.....getting kicked out of the harbor citys hotel room.......signing my team mates husbands back of his dog tripping me and the conversation i had with him explaining i didn't need his help its all over my designated drivers vehicle.....the hamburger that i almost slept with.......o ya cant forget the snow bank that tripped know its a good time when you wake up feelin like p diddy.......

Much Derby Love

Roller Derby Ruined My Life

SO its 2:52 am and I am finally getting the chance to post my "Sunday" blog, even though technically its already Monday morning. And why may you ask am I up at almost 3 am blogging? Well this is the first chance I have had to sit down and do this since this morning. I attended the South Coast Mitten Kittens training camp today in Southern California, which was awesome. I always love getting together with other local derby girls. Also this weekend, we, and by we I mean the San Diego Derby Dolls, finally premiered our brand new banked track for the San Diego public! We had our first banked track game at the San Diego Del Mar Fairgrounds Saturday night against the Mitten Kittens. I wasn't playing, I was actually boutcasting for DNN. It was a huge night for the league, four and half a years in the making. And then earlier tonight after the training camp, and while my roommate was having a super bowl party, I was sifting through stats and pics from the game and writing up a review of the game for a Sports news site. So like a lot of weekends it has been a long derby weekend, but a satisfying one.

The topic suggested for the past week was "Talk about your friends, family or random people you meet, and their support OR lack thereof - of you playing roller derby."

Well, as my title states roller derby has officially ruined my life. I saw that on a t-shirt Dahmernatrix was wearing at a practice one day. I loved it because it completely embodies how I feel at this point in my derby career. Roller derby has completely ruined my life. And I love it! Because my other favorite quote is Roller Derby Saved My Soul, which apparently Karmic Recall likes as well from the title of her Monday blog. I am glad I have traded whatever my past life was for the positive life I now have in the roller derby community. This is why on my on my trading card profile for 2010 it says:

Inspiration: Roller Derby Saved My Soul

Biggest Challenge: Roller Derby Ruined My Life

Now do other people understand this? Certainly not. Just today I came out of my room to take a break from writing to try some of roommates shrimp ceviche and mingle a little bit with his friends that were watching the Super Bowl. When I got out there a girl I know from a couple of years ago was there and when she introduced me to her friend she said, "oh Nicole plays, what is it Nicole, roller blading or something?" I wanted to stab her. Roller derby is so important to me, and so unimportant to her. I guess that is why as time goes on I find myself hanging out more and more only with other derby folk. I get tired of trying to explain to randoms, or family members, why its so cool and why it takes up such a huge part of my life. When I am with my derby sister and brothers I know they understand why it consumes my life, cause it also consumed theirs.

Also on my trading card profile is this:

Favorite Quote: “If at first, the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it.” – Albert Einstein

Some would say the idea of professional roller derby is absurd. Thank god, otherwise there would be no hope for it, according to Einstein.

OK I am going to bed. I need to get rested - I have practice tomorrow night.

kali katt

Thursday, February 4, 2010


once i explained to my mother after the only bout that she has seen me play in, that i didn't mean to, it was just a knee jerk reaction when i punched my best friend Ladykiller (lamely, in the chest) - the rim of her helmet came down on my shoulder joint and it really freekin hurt - she surprisingly answered that punching an attacker is probably the best reaction i could have when somebody hurts me.
she didn't sound really worried and tell me to be careful every time derby was mentioned after that.

my boss has no sympathy for any derby-related injury complaints as i "bring it on myself", so i sit quietly in my office with my bag of frozen peas and keep it real - he does however let me print a ridiculous amount of derby related material on his fancy new printer, sponsor ads in calendars and gives me time off in order to prepare for bouts. i know he secretly love that i play.
my only co-worker said "...but you can't be a geek, you play roller derby" ha!

i think i actually used to wear fishnet stockings more before i started playing, i guess i now consider them "sports-wear" so only usually wear them for games or when it's too hot to train in leggings.
i started going to the fledgling derby league in my town after i got fed up with all of my friends telling me that they had heard of this roller ball thing and i should do it. note: the majority of nicknames bestowed upon me have incorporated the word "crazy".
my housemates and friends come to games and are very apologetic, almost ashamed if they can't make the 4th one in a row. derby is just a thing i do and although my friends and people i'm introduced to as "...Kate, she plays roller derby!" think it's pretty cool, i don't think it's really considered that unusual, at least for a crazy, outgoing, attention whore like myself, to play the sport.

i'll tell you who doesn't support derby though, freekin the people who make pants.
i'm proud of my tremendous thighs and tend to pick up by telling guys i could crush their head with them...if i so chose, and then they are all, "nuh uh!" and i am all "yuh huh!" and they are all "well prove it" and then i take them home, have my way, crush their head and eat their remains.
my pants though, are now held up, not at the waist or hips by the waistband like a regular persons pants might, but by the wedges of strength that most people refer to as thighs. the fabric at waist and abdomen hangs loose and annoying, wearing belts creates that pant butt scrunching effect which is not flattering to anyone. oh life is hard!
i now own several pairs of very high waisted polka dot underpants that compensate for the gap created by wearing pants 2 sizes too big in the waist. i like to wear them as my bikini bottoms at the beach and make the rest of my league get drunk and try them on. in fact, finally bringing this issue out in the open has inspired me to put forward that as SSRG's previously non-existent hazing ritual, we make all newbies, refs included, skate their first scrimmage session in my ridiculous knickers.
am i right, or am i right?

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

I get all the support I need from my sport bra.."ba da bum bum"

Ok.. no seriously.

My story begins long ago in a galaxy far, far, away..where the men were men, and the women usually looked like men. Podunk Tiny Town Texas.

My mom and popsicle were older mom was a petite, beautiful cheerleader or "yell leader" as they were called in those days, my daddy career Navy Officer. As a teen my mom was striken with polio, and for various reasons, she was unable to have children due to the strain on her body. So..they elected to adopt.

What she hoped for was a cute tiny lil version of herself that she could continue to persue all her own personal hopes and aspirations through. On June 4th, 1973, that dream was shot down in flames when my nearly 12lb,covered in red splotches self came screaming into the world.

Since they had already pre-paid for me, I guess they figured it was best to go ahead and take me home. Maybe I would shrink or something, I dunno. Grow into my head..or fat rolls..

Yeah.. that didn't happen.. year after year the lineup in school was like this..

kid kid kid kid kid ME kid kid kid kid kid

I guess it didn't help that we moved in next door to Janna and Tiffany, the Captain of the Drill Team, and Head Cheerleader.

My mom was emotionally distant from me.I wasn't what she wanted... My father lent his pants and his scrotum to my mother, so he pretty much went along with whatever she said..while one on one he was a tender, loving was when it mattered, up against my mother, that he did nothing. But honestly, it was always my mother's approval I sought most.

They paid for me to go to college, I got whatever I wanted as long as I was seen and not heard by my mother.... it paid off I reckon, because I am fluent in 4 languages, passable in a 5th, and I have a pretty dang good job...but whatever I wanted,was more or less love and approval, not a wave of the hand and a cold smile. Someone genuinely excited for my good deeds and sports exploits would have been outstanding..

I have always been gigantic..I remember when I got married, my dad is at the front of the reception venue and he raises a glass and says "I'd like to make a toast to the man who married my little girl.."

I holler from the receiving line "LITTLE? DADDY.. PUT ON YOUR GLASSES!!!"

With me being gigantic.. I am slow. I will always be slow. Fast I am praise for me being a track star or a basketball or volleyball player never came. It was only for band, or drama, or powerlifting, or shotput.. the stuff that took the muscle..or a bit of smarts. I relished that praise, soaked it up. But it came from my teachers..not who I was so desperately seeking it Mom..

I found derby,which we went over that in my first mother, being who she full of things to say..."Your too old.." "don't you care what people think".. "If you'd think a little less about yourself and more about other people.."....She means only about her, and what she wants.

The day I took the pics that appear on my blog, I had a giant rockabilly poof on the top, and it was newly dyed black and neon pink, she rode with me to town, and I could see her eyeballing me out of the corner of my eye.

"You don't want me to tell you what you look like do you?"
"No mom, but I am reasonably sure your going to anyway"

So she was quiet for 10 minutes, and then she just couldn't stand it anymore. "You look like Dolly Parton mated with Mon Chi Chi then threw up, you just like seeing how stupid you can look, don't you?"

Really Mom? Really?

After a recent appearence on local mom calls me immediately after it's over.

It was too much to expect her to be complimentary.

"You look puffy, have you been eating Swiss Cake Rolls again, your fat"

So I was thinking about getting her one of those t-shirts that say "Proud Mother of a Rollergirl" except she wouldn't wear it..mostly because it doesn't come with a fashionable 70's style collar, doesn't come in a polyester/spandex blend, and would look ridiculous with her sensible, yet sturdy shoes. Oh.. and because the shirt doesnt say "I am proud of my tiny,petite Big 10 cheerleader" or even "I am proud of my giant daughter who was too large to be a tiny petite Big 10 cheerleader, so she became a nun and didn't embarass me by joining roller derby."... I forgot to add, my mom is staunch Catholic.

So that's the parental support aspect of it..I love my mom..

As for the manfolk/kids..

The man is a ref/coach..goes to every practice, every derby function,buys every single piece of equipment I own...couldn't ask for a more stellar pillar of support...

The kids..well once my 11 year old stopped getting other mothers wanting to kick my ass by telling kids in his class "Oh yeah.. you don't like it.. my mom is a rollergirl.. my mom can kick your moms BUTT.".. it was great, he wears the shirts, slaps stickers on things he's not suppose to in school, and tells kids to "pack it up" in the lunch line..

The oldest..hahahahahahahahaha.

He's 16, head of the redneck mafia. I remember last year, he was showin' hawgs at the state fair, so I darted from practice to the show barn, didn't even take off my gear. It was after the auction so buyers would be perusing the barn lookin for a good deal..

Lemmie tell ya one thing...

Cowboys love them some big giant rollergirls... sho' 'nuff..

But for every cowboy that was in there offering to "show me some derby luv"..there was some large country women there know the type..big girls, lookin down their noses at me because I don't fit into their world.

Like their kids heifers.. the women themselves needed to have their hooves trimmed so they would stand correctly.

Now before ya'll start giving me crap.. I'm a big girl.. chunky..always have been, always will be, difference between me and them is, I dont look down my nose at people who are different, and treat them like garbage..

Well I went in the back side of the barn..and this boy took a gander at me in all my derby finery, got wide eyed and went screaming to find my son.. everybody from the front side of the barn came a runnin'..

Looked life a calf scramble I tell ya...

"There is this really weird looking women.. she's all padded up.. I think she's come to steal a hawg"

(Yes.. apparently derby gear will keep you well protected whilst stealing a 280lb show hawg)

So my teenage son pipes up..

"She ain't weird.. she's my momma.. and momma does derby..ain't it cool?"

So he wants me standing there with him as buyers come from the auction barn to the show son stood there proudly by my side..sporting my team at that time's shirt, and me wearing my gear still....

This guy comes buy and says "so who's this roller hockey chick"

"It's roller derby sir, and she's my momma"

"But your a cowboy.."

('Cause apparently I am unable to birth out of my social species..)

That boy of mine is now an NSO for GCRG..and is working on his skating to be a ref when he is of age..I think he pimps out team merch just as much as some of our girls!

So, in short. what I didn't get from my mom, I get in spades from my boys and man...and without that support..I really don't know where I would be...

Lost I reckon...

I almost quit derby..I was having a rough time of it after I slammed my head..and another derbygirl from my old team and I sat in the stands watching a bout one time.. (she was having issues with the hitting part of derby, she could skate like a mofo, but was scared of the hitting).. she said to me.. "you know, if we ever get in, if I ever get past my fear of getting hit and hitting in return, I will be an alright skater, I mean, i'm little and cute and everybody will think "aww look at her"..but get over that glitch and get your stride back again, your the stuff legends are made of, i'd kill to be as big as you and have that much hitting power"


I laughed my ass off at her. Legend? Me? Ok..yeah, whatever..I don't presume to be so conceited myself, I am just a big solid lump... but then I realized later on..this is for me..this sport.. this is my doesn't matter I am not what my MOTHER wanted.. this sport doesnt care what SHE relishes girls my size..and so I didn't quit..and I always hear that girls words echo in my head when I am still trying to work my skating out in my own head. Even when things got really bad with my other team..I still heard those words..

It began with the support of my man and my kids..then that small convo the girl probably doesnt even the midst of a serious craptastic time in my derby career....which was a huge boost of moral support, that kept me from quitting.. and helped me to move on to what I have now, the love and support of the phenomenal, PHENOMENAL group of ladies I skate with now, the GCRG.

I smile now. I laugh..I am happy to be around good people..good friends. The grieving for the lost child has lessened.. still hurts, but is not as consuming and harsh and debilitating, the obsessing over my own sucky ability to get over my head glitch from injury is gone,and I let go of my hurt from my experiences with my previous team..sometimes I still am a bit shellshocked..but I quickly get over it. Without derby, I would not have met these girls.Would not have this support network that I have now. I am thankful to have it in my life.

As for my mom.. someone once told me there is 2 Fences in Life.. the 'Eff It Fence.. and The Fix it Fence, and I had to figure out which one I was ridin'.. I rode the Fix it Fence for a long time.. to no avail..and my life only got better when I conceded that derby is what makes me happy, and no matter what, my mom will never be happy with me, derby or not.. so where she's concerned, I shall show her the proper respect she deserves as my mother..but I now ride the 'Eff It Fence.

Without the love of my family, (sorry mom, not you, thank God she doesn't have a computer) and the support of my derby sisters, I wouldn't be who I am right now...and everything I have done up unto this point, has been a learning experience, that while sometimes painful, it has all been necessary to get to this fantastic experience I have right now, which is the Gulf Coast Rollergirls.

Derby Love-
Boo Boo LaRue

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Lack Thereof

I've been in some sort of activity for most of my life so far. When I was little it was like ballet, karate, roller skating, "jazzersizing" hahaha. When I was in high school, it was cheerleading, colorguard, water polo, I even tried playing the french horn, wtf?. Through college I was more of a book worm but I went to the gym 4 times a week. My dad was my number one fan at everything I did, and pushed me to do more and more...after he was gone, I didn't feel like doing anything. I gained 40 pounds and sat on my ass all day and ate and went to work and came home and that's about it.

I started playing roller derby because at that point in my life I was sick of just not doing anything, the gym is boring, I hate walking in my neighborhood cuz its creepy and I was going through a bad break up and I just wanted to do something for me. I just wanted to be independant of that relationship and make new friends and move on with my life and this sport had allowed me to vent out a little frustration. Well, turns out that guy and I ended up back together but I didn't give up derby despite his opposition. He still today thinks that everything I wear a bouts is too little, too see through, too tight, too short...It's like wtf? Do you want me to wear a turtle neck and a moo moo? This is roller derby, we are sexy, strong and bad chicas and we don't wear anything that we don't feel comfortable playing this aggressive sport in. He doesn't come to my bouts, he always says he will but he doesn't...wack I know but hey, I'm still a girl with a heart bigger then my bite.
Anyway, enough about that...

I am my own support system and my team is the cherry on top. I know If my dad were still here, he would be at every game and would be like the weird man holding a sign with my name on it screaming "GO DOLLY!" He would be my number one fan.

That's all for today folks!
Loves & Shoves,
Destructo Dolly

-Looking for a team to join? hit up for info!

Monday, February 1, 2010

Rollerderby Saved my Soul!!!!!!

Rollerderby Saved my Soul !!!!! No dought.......I grew up on an Indian reservation......a fellow Indian treated like a minority........this is where negativity and greed delegated my life.......not to mention friends were only a luxury.........the skeletons of my families past tucked me in at night.......every day including the present has been nothing less than struggles and constant fight.........constant fight to not loose myself along the way.........a constant fight to just to be......EVERYDAY......

Rollerderby can make or brake you......both figuratively and literally.......both mentally and physically........its the support from our loved ones ........from our fans that make the drama some how more tolerable.......not to mention if your lucky enough to have actual team mates fighting with you..........not against you.......

I have played sports all my life........our family raised race horses for a living school i played basketball,,,,, volleyball,,,,,track.,,,,,and wrestling,,,,,,, would have played football if they let needless to say .....sacrifice is nothing knew to me ........rollerderby just on another level you see......

Growing up with so much hatred......negativity and greed........that's just from my family........tends to way on your soul on a word comes to mind........ANGER..........this force of anger can be dangerous.........causing self destruction or even worse..........BITTERNESS.........i was lost when rollerderby found me........I couldn't help but to think wait a mean i can be as rough and as tough as i need to be......beating females down.......instead of going to jail..........she buys me a drink this my friends is good therapy .........if you ask me..........

Again rollerderby nothing less then unique sport by far..........think about it people.......this is the only organized sport that doesn't concentrate on your physical attributes........where age isn't nothing but a number........and size truly doesn't matter.......color is not an issue........the more piercings and tats the better.........with this deep level of uniqueness comes an even deeper level of sacrifices and commitment...........lets face it ladies........non of us truly knew what lies beneath what we see........being a rollergirl is so much more than carrying the tittle roller derby queen..........

My support system starts with faith........destiny.........and pure hope .......that one day these sacrifices will not go un-noticed.........I would like to personally include the fans..........last but not little sister and the few friends I've lost along the way.........they were there when i needed them........thanks!!!!!!!! I would like to apologize to those who were ignored by my love n passion for this sport.......a widow if you may........4 years ago derby entered my life.........been lucky enough to excel on a daily basis........on another level......lucky enough to be known all over the Midwest and sprinkles of the Martin Luther King said ..........I HAVE A DREAM........karma says ........I REFUSE TO LET IT GO.........

I have fought my entire life against prejudice.....against hatred........-against all odds-........I am still here.....not going any where but to the top.......I have managed to take my negative life and raise a child when i was 11.....hence my little sister.........recycled that negativity and turned it to positive for her........and i plan on doing it again........through all the drama..........the trauma........the gossip........the jealousy..........I'm going to some how recycle that and concentrate on the positive things about derby..........for derby's sake.......... go and support fellow rollergirls.........they have some pretty cool merch..........

Much Derby Love