Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Sometimes..you just know...

I went through over a year of shit on my first team...

I went through a year of stupidity on my second team.

But sometimes, you just know, almost instantly.. where you really belong..

This is my blog.. and it's my opinions, and I am entitled to them..

Team 2 was just..I dunno, I thought it was fantastic because it wasn't the hell hole team 1 was, but in retrospect, it was a different kind of bullshit. There is no sanitized derby, no pretty girl sweet way of doing derby. Derby is derby..plain and simple. I'm not saying that women of breeding dont belong in derby, but that breeding doesn't give you the right to be an asshole to people who don't look like you, or act like you..because sweet cheeks.. derby is filled with people who dont look like you, have the same socio economic background as you.., or education level as you. If you judged everybody with those perimeters.. you'd be kinda fucked..

So what, someones child looks off, or their tooth is rotten, or somebody else is chubby or lazy, or what you deem trashy..I have found, that people who tend to pick on other people, especially with the guise of being better than they are, usually have some serious deep seeded issues themselves..

So we took the team name, and made it a league name, and merged it with another areas team.. for various reasons,and made a big superpower of derby girls.Originally we had the ones who didn't go with the others going to travel and join us..but they either pussed out because the drive was too far, or they all seriously have some major drama, and I don't need that toxicity on this nice, unspoiled, unjaded derby.

I went into this, closed off again. Jaded. But right off the bat, my contact was a girl who got me, and I her. I didn't need to explain myself, and all my bullshit baggage with being closed off to people because being closed off means you dont leave yourself open to get fucked over, and she didn't need to explain hers..I remember our first convo.. when I got off the phone, I cried..I cried to my husband, because every time derby drama happens, I cry and think maybe I am crazy..because I try to do the right thing and do right by people, but I keep getting fucked over.

But after that convo, I realized.. I am not crazy.. and that girl got me. We have an understanding..

So I went to practice with a renewed sense of hope in derby, instead of leaving it altogether.

They say the 3rd time is a charm..I think that is a true statement in every sense of the words.

Girls with ink, and piercings, and love fishnet and weird shit as much as I do..we go to practice, and we are not too good to go to the pub afterwards..we don't think we are better than anybody else, or each other.. and we don't do that "ohhh I don't want to be seen with you" bullshit..

And it's weird not having to sensor everything I say..because it might offend a plastic and her sensibilities. Or the lil Meatball with legs merch girl who has to be told what she thinks... I say what I want, do what I want.. and I love these girls..because they do the same, and they make no apologies. They are secure in who they are, and it's not about keeping up appearances..

I have no illusions we wont have derby drama.. we will. But for some reason, I don't ever see the issues we fight about, being about how we looked to so and so, and don't say this, and don't post that because I don't want so and so to see it and think badly of me because I am a business owner with a degree in cow psychology.

Who cares..really.

If I had it to do all over again, and go back to Orange...I would never ever even give it a second thought. Orange doesn't exist to me anymore..while I accept the apology texts I have been getting..it's just a closed chapter in my life.

Many thanks to H.A.R.D from Corpus Christi, and Original GCRG's for helping to spread Derby Domination to Lake Charles...